


Day in the Life of Mulder's Fish, A

by spookyawards_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-09-30
Updated: 2003-09-30
Packaged: 2019-04-27 06:09:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14419284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookyawards_archivist/pseuds/spookyawards_archivist
Summary: Mulder's fish have a little chat.





	Day in the Life of Mulder's Fish, A

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Spooky Awards](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Spooky_Awards), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [SpookyAwards' collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/spookyawards/profile).

 

A Day in the Life of Mulder's Fish

## A Day in the Life of Mulder's Fish

### by Girlie_girl74

Title: A Day in the Life of Mulder's Fish Author: Girlie_girl7  
EM: Category: kid fic  
Date: 02-02-03  
Disclaimer: Fox doesn't own these.  
Rating: G  
Spoilers: Existence then AU  
Summary: Mulder's fish have a little chat. Notes: To Carissa, Joe and Matt. 

~ A Day in the Life of Mulder's Fish ~ 

Cast of fishSid  
\- the oldest and wisest fish.  
Phil- Sid's crony.  
Betty- the non-assuming lady fish.  
Earl- the shy fish. 

~ Phil glides past Sid then stops. ~ 

Phil- Hey Sid, where'd that little one come from? 

Sid- I don't know but when the lady got skinny this one showed up. 

Betty- She's pretty, I wish I had hair like hers. 

Sid- Betty, you should just wish for hair. 

~ The fish all laugh. ~ 

Earl- At least she feeds us regularly. The guy use to just toss in a few flakes whenever he was home. 

Betty- I liked it when she fed us but she sure was sad. 

Phil- Maybe she didn't like coming over to feed us while the guy was gone. 

Betty- I dunno, maybe she missed the guy. 

Sid, Phil, and Earl- Ewwwwww! 

Betty- I liked him. 

Sid- Face it Betty, you like all of them. 

~ Betty giggles ~ 

Earl- That little one scares me. He comes over to look at us and I get the creeps. 

Betty- I wish I had blue eyes like that little one. Sid, Phil, and Earl- Betty! 

Betty- Well, I do. 

Sid- Do any of you remember Bernie? 

Phil- Since Moby Dick was a minnow, I sure do! 

Betty- I wasn't here then. 

Phil- He was one darn fine fish. 

Sid- A whale among fish. 

Earl- Where'd he go? 

Phil- To that big tank in the sky. 

Betty- How? 

Sid- He turned up floating one day and the big guy scooped him out and took him to heaven. 

Phil- I heard it was a murder-suicide. 

Betty- Really! 

Phil- That's right! Remember Spotty came up missing and all we found was a fin. 

Sid- Yeah I almost forgot about that. 

~ Just then two more fish swim by. ~ 

Hey Sid. Hey Phil. 

Hey Marty. Hey Max. 

Earl- Those two friends of yours? 

Sid- Yeah, they've been here since that time the big guy tore up the place. 

Phil- That was a long time ago. 

Sid- No not the first time, the second time. 

Phil- You're wrong Sid; the second time it was those two big guys that came in and tore the place up then our big guy came home and cried. 

Betty- Why did he cry? 

Phil- Rumor has it the lady was real sick. 

Earl- Did he find her floating? 

Sid- No you dumb mackerel, the big ones don't float. 

Earl- I know, I just said that for the halibut. 

~ All the fish laugh. ~ 

Phil- An oldie but a goodie, you gotta love fish humor. 

Sid- So how do you guys like the new digs? 

Betty- I like it here; it's bright and the lady keeps our water clean. 

Phil- We get better eats too. 

~ All the fish agree. ~ 

Earl- The little one still scares me; and is it just me or is he getting bigger? 

Betty- I noticed that too but I didn't want to say anything. 

Sid- As long as I get fed I don't care how big he gets. 

~ The fish all laugh. ~ 

Earl- You don't think he eats fish do you?" 

~ The fish all stop laughing. ~ 

Phil- Holy crappie! I never thought of that. 

Sid- Relax you two, the big guy and the lady never did. 

Phil- Phew, you nearly gave me a heart attack. 

Betty- Does anyone know why we live here now? 

Phil- I suppose the lady got tired of coming over to feed us. 

Betty- I think she missed the guy. 

Sid, Phil, and Earl- Ewwwww. 

Sid- Betty where do you come up with this stuff? 

Betty- When the big guy came back he watched a lot of Oprah, I was paying attention. 

Sid- I never was much for daytime tv. 

Phil- It sure beats that stuff he use to watch. I never got the idea behind two people lying around and moaning. 

Earl- Maybe it was a murder-suicide. 

Phil- Maybe.  
Earl- Oh no! Here comes that little one. (Earl hides behind the tiny space ship.) 

~ William pats the fish tank, sloshing the water around. ~ 

Sid- Hey! Hey! Easy there little guy, we don't need a tsunami. 

Phil- What's he think he's doing! 

Betty- I don't know but I like it. Weeee! That was fun. 

~ Just then Scully walks over and takes Will by the hand. She picks him up and lifts the lid to the tank. ~ 

Phil- Holy crappie! She's gonna toss that little one in! 

Betty- No she's not! 

Sid- I think Phil's right, swim for it! 
    
    
         ~  All the fish scatter except for Betty. Scully
            picks up the can of fish food and sprinkles a
            few flakes into the tank.  Will gently put his
            fingers into the water.  Scully pulls his 
            hand back and closes the lid. ~
    

Betty- Come on guys, she was just feeding us. 

~ The fish all creep back out, including Earl. ~ 

Sid- This is great, a mid-day snack. 

Phil- I like that lady, she feeds us better. 

Earl- That little one still creeps me out. 

Sid- He can slosh me around anytime he wants just as long as I get fed. 

~ The fish all laugh. ~ 

Betty- Look here comes the big guy. He's pretty. 

Sid- Betty guys aren't pretty, ladies are pretty; guys are beautiful. 

Phil- I think you're wrong Sid, the lady says the guy is Mulder. 

Sid- Okay so ladies are pretty and guys are Mulder. 

Betty- THAT guy is very Mulder. 

~ Mulder lifts the top off the tank. ~ 

Sid- What's he up to anyway? 

Earl- You think he's gonna take us to heaven? 

Sid- I don't know, I don't see any floaters. 

~ Suddenly two more fish flop into the tank. ~ 

Sid- What the. . . 

~ The two fish glide through the water past Sid, Phil, Earl and Betty. 
    
    
         ~ Mulder places the top back on the tank.  Scully and Will
           come over to stand along side him to watch the fish. ~
    

Hello my name is Sally and this is my friend Carissa. We live here now. 

Sid- Well, hello there cuties! 

Betty- Sid! 

Phil- Hello ladies, good to have you overboard. 

~ The fish all laugh. ~ 

Sid- Always quick with the joke. 

Earl- That little one is looking at me again. (Earl high tails it back to the space ship.) 

Betty- Welcome girls, you'll like it here. The lady feeds us a lot and the big guy is really Mulder. 

Sid, Phil, and Earl- Betty! 

Betty- Well, he is! 

~ The End ~   
  


#### If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Girlie_girl74


End file.
